MSc done !!

Just finished my MSP presentation today.. :).. Elated.. Relaxed .. Free... !! Now, it's time for a week of masti after which I pack my bags, bid tearful goodbyes and trudge my homeward route.. [or , rather, glide homeward .. I am flying, you see :D] I know, after few days, the emptiness would hit me. After days (and nights!) packed with project, classes , friends, hostel fun, cultural activities and what-not, it is really tough to be doing Nothing!! But, now, I just dont want to think of the looming boredom.. now, it is just "happy time" .. Chillax and bliss! :D

To be (firm) or not to be , that's the question

Just had a squibble / argument with Sid baab , when he persistantly called all South Indians "Gulties". I have previously mentioned , that this generalisation bugs me to no end. It was his statement "Makes no difference to me. All people below Maharashtra are Gults to me" that pissed me off. Told him about it, to which he, no doubt, apologised [albiet, grudgingly ;)] but said that I should be more patient, take people as they are, not expect them to fall in with my views, and, above all, learnt not to hit the roof when people do stuff to bug you. I told him, that there were certain issues one was sensitive about. "People" I dint give a damn to, but when close friends said stuff, that they knew, might disturb you, that's when it hurt. Because, to me friends matter, and their views do as well. So, as I came here initially, this generalisation bugged me, and I fought with all and sundry about this. But, by now, I've learnt that I cant expect more out of these "Northies" [tit-for-tat :D]. But, when close friends persist in doing so, that's when it bugs. I feel they are taking away my identiy, and sort of treating my mother state as something insignificant. And, this demeaning is what bugs me. Sid then said, that it's with friends that you ought to be patient. You get bugged with them, things would sour up. With strangers, you need not bother. But, then, I felt that is n't the vice-versa valid as well? Should n't friends too, be more sensitive about their buddy's feelings? When they know a thing hurts, persistance in doing it is like wilfully hurting your friend. Then, if a "friend" is knowingly and wilfully hurting you, what differentiates them from a foe! Sid then said, that you should be patient, in such a case. They may be late in learning, but learn they will, eventually. But, I truly feel, there are some issues that one must be firm about. And, sometimes, it is better to put your foot down right in the beginning. Be too understanding, and people take you for granted. Dont ever be so "understanding" that you compromise on yourself, on your self-esteem and on what you believe in. You have a resposibilty to your friends, true, but you have a greater responsibilty to yourself as well, and it isn't worth letting others demean you so much, and reduce your feeling of self-worth. "Taggidavanige guddu jaasti" says a saying in kannada . "The man who bends the most, gets kicked the most"

Lethargy

Got an exam in the afty. An audit. Totally no mood to study. Struggling from morn. Friends tell me , "Chod yaar, audit hi hai! Nbd mat le". A voice within says "When you've taken the course, why do a ship-shod job! Anyway, you've just a couple of hours left, give it your best". But, finding it impossible to shake off the mental lethargy. Boredom sinks in within minutes of study. Ever felt youself in the grip of a powerful lethargy? So strong, that inspite of your logical mind telling you that this moment is the very last to be lazy in, the lethargy refuses to loosen its vicious grip? How does one fight such lethargy!! All suggestions are welcome. [Not that it would help me for today's paper, tho! Guess it is a goner already! :D]

Some battles are fought alone...

I remember high school days. My friend Shweta and I would hit it off perfectly, except for those moments, when she would turn up all gloomy and frowning. My innocent "trying-to-help" queries would be answered curtly, and ask a one-too-many "What's happened? Anything wrong?" and I was sure to have my head bitten off. Initially, I would feel hurt, that I was only trying to help her out, and instead got yelled back at. But, by and by, I learnt, she wasn't like me. There was a basic difference - while I preferred voicing out all my troubles, which I believed easened them for me, she preferred pushing them away, and immersing herself in something else. She would talk about things only when she was ready. I learnt , slightly the hard way, that "Do unto others, what you would have others to do unto you" did not always hold good!! It isn't that she didn't think me trust-worthy enough to confide her worries in me or anything like that, but just that, she would do it in her own sweet time.

Over the years, a few really close friends I made also belonged to the same category. After an early replay of the above narrated incident, I would classify those people mentally as the "shwetha types". I now leave them alone, and try to wait patiently, till they are ready to talk. Queries of "What's gone wrong?" would only rub salt into wounds, and words of sympathy would only irk. It's tough though, cause I feel helpless, that I am unable to help my friend.. that I am unable to comfort them, and tell them, that everything will be fine, but there are some battles which a person needs to fight alone. No amount of support or camaraderie would help. One would have to conquer one's own devils.

Howwzzaaaat!!

I pity our cricket team.. no, by this is I am not refering to their pitiable performance in the World Cup. I just mean that theirs is a position that I definitely do not envy! They are unfortunate to be the "sole sports stars" of a huge cricket crazy nation like ours. True, you do have craze for cricket in England, Australia etc, but there you have other religions too -such as footer, tennis etc. Those countries aren't pulsating with cricket fanatics , like our's! They say "Cricket is a game played by 22 fools and watched by 22 thousand!" Indian national game may be kabaddi, but it is cricket, which is spread through the nation like a virus, which is now impossible to eliminate. It has gotten firmly enrooted into every village, into every galli . True, you do have some members of the tennis, chess, footer sect, but these are a minority. Infact, we can even introduce a quota for this minority group ! "I am a football player / fan in a country whose majority follows cricket. So, I must be protected. Gimme a quota!! :) " What say? It might work!! Now, coming back to the main topic. In a way, it is great being the queen bee [or the queen swarm of bees here :D] , but it comes with a flip side. While you are reigning supreme, you will gain the adolation fo millions, but you screw up once, and they will screw you permanently. Truly, "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown".

Now, after the miserable world cup performance, the players returned shame-faced, reluctant, fearing for their lives, uncertain how the outraged public would react. The reactions were nothing short of expectations. Apart for the near-dictatorial rules made by the Cricket Board, you even had a village panchayat banning the game (Both viewing and playing) in their village, after the world cup!! Talking of the Cricket board, now they have decreed that no player can endorse more than three products, all the players will have the same pay scale, no company can approach mroe than two players for endorsing their products, also, no team memebr except the captain is alowed to make statements in the media!! Is n't this a violation of the "Freedom of speech??" Anyone would like to comment on this?? [Freedom of speech still exists in blog space ! Hurray for that! :D]

Drifting apart

With valfis happening daily, and the parting just days away, it is but natural that one feels senti. There are people who are always restless, who are waiting for change, who like exploring. For them, moving on is a delight. They sure miss their friends, but they are excited about making new ones, and more thrilled by the change , so, they soon overcome the misery of parting. I , sadly, dont belong to that group. I do hate stagnancy, but I take quite a long time to reach that feeling of stagnancy!! As of now, I still feel as though I just entered IITB. I still marvel at so many things here. I grew up after I entered this people. The person who's leaving in 2007 is very different from the shy (well, sort of, :D), infi champu , naive person who left B'lore in 2005. The opportunities I got here were enormous . I did things which I never even dreamt of - monsoon treks, morning jogs, marathon dream run, becoming the music secretary, singing on stage, nite outs, midnite buffets, even tasting drinks , enjoying Mood I , learning french, dancing like crazy and much more!! I learnt to be independent, to be assertive, to be much more broad minded, more experimenting, learnt to be strong, learnt to believe in myself and my abilities, learnt to fight depression, and also, learnt to enjoy my own company!! I wanted to do much more too - couldn't get time for that - like learning swimming, participating in MoodI and PAF, learning to dance, etc.

It hurts - parting from friends, moving away from such a marvellous place, the loss of freedom - freedom given by the insti, and freedom given by a great city like Mumbai. Worst I guess, is the parting from friends. The kind of friends I made here have been really very special to me. I learnt what people meant by hostel bonding. There must be hardly anything we dint share - joys, sorrows, craziness, food, clothes .. the list is endless. And, now we have to part...

Rashmi's grandmother once wisely said " Just like logs of wood floating in the ocean, brought together by the sea, stay together for a while, and are again separated by the waves; So are people - brought together by fate, stay together for a while - and again the waves separate them." But, when I related this to Karthik, he said, "But you know, there's a great diff between us and the logs. While they can't swim, we can!" How true! We can swim, we can try and fight the tide. So, what if we are moving away from IITB, we are surely not moving apart. The bonds forged here are strong. Strong enough to withstand separations across time and space. And, I am sure of my friends and of myself - that we would never lose touch . The frequency of calls might decrease, the separation pangs would surely decrease with time, but the feelings never would. And, when we got back together, we could surely continue from where we left off - and, always, there would be laughter, joys and smiles....... forever!!