I remember high school days. My friend Shweta and I would hit it off perfectly, except for those moments, when she would turn up all gloomy and frowning. My innocent "trying-to-help" queries would be answered curtly, and ask a one-too-many "What's happened? Anything wrong?" and I was sure to have my head bitten off. Initially, I would feel hurt, that I was only trying to help her out, and instead got yelled back at. But, by and by, I learnt, she wasn't like me. There was a basic difference - while I preferred voicing out all my troubles, which I believed easened them for me, she preferred pushing them away, and immersing herself in something else. She would talk about things only when she was ready. I learnt , slightly the hard way, that "Do unto others, what you would have others to do unto you" did not always hold good!! It isn't that she didn't think me trust-worthy enough to confide her worries in me or anything like that, but just that, she would do it in her own sweet time.
Over the years, a few really close friends I made also belonged to the same category. After an early replay of the above narrated incident, I would classify those people mentally as the "shwetha types". I now leave them alone, and try to wait patiently, till they are ready to talk. Queries of "What's gone wrong?" would only rub salt into wounds, and words of sympathy would only irk. It's tough though, cause I feel helpless, that I am unable to help my friend.. that I am unable to comfort them, and tell them, that everything will be fine, but there are some battles which a person needs to fight alone. No amount of support or camaraderie would help. One would have to conquer one's own devils.
Over the years, a few really close friends I made also belonged to the same category. After an early replay of the above narrated incident, I would classify those people mentally as the "shwetha types". I now leave them alone, and try to wait patiently, till they are ready to talk. Queries of "What's gone wrong?" would only rub salt into wounds, and words of sympathy would only irk. It's tough though, cause I feel helpless, that I am unable to help my friend.. that I am unable to comfort them, and tell them, that everything will be fine, but there are some battles which a person needs to fight alone. No amount of support or camaraderie would help. One would have to conquer one's own devils.
9 comments:
One more thing... whenever you are in distress, you should not be hurt if people don't keep asking you what's wrong; some prefer leaving the other handle the situation himself/herself and don't reach out to help unless called out for. Nothing wrong with this, one cannot expect the whole world to be uniform in such issues right?
wow ! your quirk of learnig from life's experiences is amazing :)
@shrek
True.. Learnt to ask for help too :) Learnt tht after coming to IITB :)tht it isnt belittling urself, to ask for help.. all do need help at some point or the othr.. And, if u let ego block u from asking friends, how will u overcome ur ego elsewhere!!
@ aneesh
Thankoos :)
EGO
that is why i never hesitate in asking u do my assignments [:p]
@Vaib
Lol, but there's CONSCIENCE too, which makes you re-do those assignments :)
that Conscience can be another EGO factor!!! :P
@ vaib
Lol! Haan, come to think of it, guess tht's wht it was , rt? :D How could I assume that a long dormant conscience will suddenly become active!! :P
SO SO True. Tell me about how difficult it is to leave your loved ones alone, in destress. Man, it took me years to master that!
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