What do I want from Life?

Life is transient, impermanent and dynamic. A mistake several of us tend to commit often, is to take it to be permanent and static. Thinking it to be so, we plan, plan and plan - for several years down the lane. And, by this, I don't mean Life insurance, or savings :). We plan our career, we program our personal lives, and we think we have taken all possibilities into consideration. But, as the Sunscreen Video so rightly said, "the real kind of troubles are those that would hit you without warning on a quiet Tuesday afternoon". It is such incidents which turn our whole life upside down, make all our plans go awry, and leave us high-and-dry, stripping us of the comfortable cocoon of the future we had seen for ourselves.

Being habituated to the task of making time-tables, we tend to do the same for our lives as well. Starting from things like "Oh, it's a week day, I am busy, lets do it in the week end" to things like "I have always wanted to go on this trek, but I cannot take so many days off from work now. Let me do it after few years, say, once I quit work". The same thing for friends, family and relationships as well. We get so caught up with our work and careers that we no longer have time to invest in relationships. That friend you always wanted to call, but somehow couldn't find time to; that sick neighbour you wanted to visit, but just couldn't; that cousin you wanted to go shopping with; that pal who was in the dumps whom you wanted to visit and be there for, but deadlines came up... the list always goes on. Since people at work will not "understand" , we end up compromising on these things, giving work the primary importance; and hoping and convincing ourselves, that after all, these people are our 'friends' and they would understand. But, what we tend to forget is that relationships are like plants. They need to be nurtured to grow into strong trees. When you don't water them continuously, they wither away. One day you look back, and they are gone! Sometimes to the point where they can not be salvaged.

As we owe something to our family and friends, we also owe ourselves something - that is the realisation of our dreams. I have always wanted to do trekking - esp, a himalaya trek, learn swimming, dancing, improve my singing, and above all, travel. Travel - not as sight seeing , but go to places, stay there for few days, get a feel of that place, meet people, also wanted to learn more about seances- at least witness one for myself, go to village fairs - esp, the ones around my granny's place, go on a biking holiday, so on and on. Most of these will be enjoyable only while I have the stamina - that is, in my youth. So, I was just wondering what I wanted to do in life? A career of research - academia - may well mean I might have to give up some, if not many, of the above. I am not sure whether science interests me so much to spend a major part of my life away in a lab, working for it. So, I have decided keep an open mind. I would nowget into a PhD. Then, decide what next based on what would really interest me at that point. I would not even be averse to giving up science completely and settle for some salaried job at an industry, or even maybe teaching, if I find that it is what would give me happiness, or atleast, leave me enough time to fulfill the dreams that I had and find happiness through that.