Monday, September 29, 2008

Pages from my old diary


"A man who keeps a diary pays, due toll to many tedious days; But life becomes eventful --then, his busy hand forgets the pen. Most books, indeed, are records less of fullness than of emptiness." - William Allingham

Went through my old diary today. Pages and pages of my heart poured out. Foolish but touching emotions of a girl crazily in love. It was as though, through my diary, I was trying to make up for all the conversations we never had. Pages of ache and longing, and euphoria on those few days on which you gave signs that made me feel special [or so I thought].

Now, it all seems ancient.

I read each word on each page - I owed it to myself to do so - before I tore it up. Not because I have moved on or because it is symbolic of getting over you. Or because the man in my life now asked me to do so - he's mature enough to be beyond these requests. It's because they hold no meaning for me anymore. When there are no more emotions - love, longing, pain or anger, it makes no sense to preserve the relics. It's time to declutter - my bookshelf. My mind is already clean.

Funny how I haven't written a diary since the last year. Maybe it's just that my life is full now - as I always wished it to be.

2 comments:

Nissim said...

Very nicely written! It is time to declutter our bookshelves and our minds. A blog or a diary are ways to vent our emotions when there is no one to vent them out to. When you find that person, to be your support, to be the witness for your life (as you've written in a previous blog) the need for a blog or a diary goes down.
Once you've found that person, a paper or the electronic medium can be used to communicate much more than a blog or a diary entry.

Tallur said...

Yes one should move on... but that need not entail shredding away the past...