Just had a squibble / argument with Sid baab , when he persistantly called all South Indians "Gulties". I have previously mentioned , that this generalisation bugs me to no end. It was his statement "Makes no difference to me. All people below Maharashtra are Gults to me" that pissed me off. Told him about it, to which he, no doubt, apologised [albiet, grudgingly ;)] but said that I should be more patient, take people as they are, not expect them to fall in with my views, and, above all, learnt not to hit the roof when people do stuff to bug you. I told him, that there were certain issues one was sensitive about. "People" I dint give a damn to, but when close friends said stuff, that they knew, might disturb you, that's when it hurt. Because, to me friends matter, and their views do as well. So, as I came here initially, this generalisation bugged me, and I fought with all and sundry about this. But, by now, I've learnt that I cant expect more out of these "Northies" [tit-for-tat :D]. But, when close friends persist in doing so, that's when it bugs. I feel they are taking away my identiy, and sort of treating my mother state as something insignificant. And, this demeaning is what bugs me. Sid then said, that it's with friends that you ought to be patient. You get bugged with them, things would sour up. With strangers, you need not bother. But, then, I felt that is n't the vice-versa valid as well? Should n't friends too, be more sensitive about their buddy's feelings? When they know a thing hurts, persistance in doing it is like wilfully hurting your friend. Then, if a "friend" is knowingly and wilfully hurting you, what differentiates them from a foe! Sid then said, that you should be patient, in such a case. They may be late in learning, but learn they will, eventually. But, I truly feel, there are some issues that one must be firm about. And, sometimes, it is better to put your foot down right in the beginning. Be too understanding, and people take you for granted. Dont ever be so "understanding" that you compromise on yourself, on your self-esteem and on what you believe in. You have a resposibilty to your friends, true, but you have a greater responsibilty to yourself as well, and it isn't worth letting others demean you so much, and reduce your feeling of self-worth. "Taggidavanige guddu jaasti" says a saying in kannada . "The man who bends the most, gets kicked the most"