Howwzzaaaat!!

I pity our cricket team.. no, by this is I am not refering to their pitiable performance in the World Cup. I just mean that theirs is a position that I definitely do not envy! They are unfortunate to be the "sole sports stars" of a huge cricket crazy nation like ours. True, you do have craze for cricket in England, Australia etc, but there you have other religions too -such as footer, tennis etc. Those countries aren't pulsating with cricket fanatics , like our's! They say "Cricket is a game played by 22 fools and watched by 22 thousand!" Indian national game may be kabaddi, but it is cricket, which is spread through the nation like a virus, which is now impossible to eliminate. It has gotten firmly enrooted into every village, into every galli . True, you do have some members of the tennis, chess, footer sect, but these are a minority. Infact, we can even introduce a quota for this minority group ! "I am a football player / fan in a country whose majority follows cricket. So, I must be protected. Gimme a quota!! :) " What say? It might work!! Now, coming back to the main topic. In a way, it is great being the queen bee [or the queen swarm of bees here :D] , but it comes with a flip side. While you are reigning supreme, you will gain the adolation fo millions, but you screw up once, and they will screw you permanently. Truly, "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown".

Now, after the miserable world cup performance, the players returned shame-faced, reluctant, fearing for their lives, uncertain how the outraged public would react. The reactions were nothing short of expectations. Apart for the near-dictatorial rules made by the Cricket Board, you even had a village panchayat banning the game (Both viewing and playing) in their village, after the world cup!! Talking of the Cricket board, now they have decreed that no player can endorse more than three products, all the players will have the same pay scale, no company can approach mroe than two players for endorsing their products, also, no team memebr except the captain is alowed to make statements in the media!! Is n't this a violation of the "Freedom of speech??" Anyone would like to comment on this?? [Freedom of speech still exists in blog space ! Hurray for that! :D]

Drifting apart

With valfis happening daily, and the parting just days away, it is but natural that one feels senti. There are people who are always restless, who are waiting for change, who like exploring. For them, moving on is a delight. They sure miss their friends, but they are excited about making new ones, and more thrilled by the change , so, they soon overcome the misery of parting. I , sadly, dont belong to that group. I do hate stagnancy, but I take quite a long time to reach that feeling of stagnancy!! As of now, I still feel as though I just entered IITB. I still marvel at so many things here. I grew up after I entered this people. The person who's leaving in 2007 is very different from the shy (well, sort of, :D), infi champu , naive person who left B'lore in 2005. The opportunities I got here were enormous . I did things which I never even dreamt of - monsoon treks, morning jogs, marathon dream run, becoming the music secretary, singing on stage, nite outs, midnite buffets, even tasting drinks , enjoying Mood I , learning french, dancing like crazy and much more!! I learnt to be independent, to be assertive, to be much more broad minded, more experimenting, learnt to be strong, learnt to believe in myself and my abilities, learnt to fight depression, and also, learnt to enjoy my own company!! I wanted to do much more too - couldn't get time for that - like learning swimming, participating in MoodI and PAF, learning to dance, etc.

It hurts - parting from friends, moving away from such a marvellous place, the loss of freedom - freedom given by the insti, and freedom given by a great city like Mumbai. Worst I guess, is the parting from friends. The kind of friends I made here have been really very special to me. I learnt what people meant by hostel bonding. There must be hardly anything we dint share - joys, sorrows, craziness, food, clothes .. the list is endless. And, now we have to part...

Rashmi's grandmother once wisely said " Just like logs of wood floating in the ocean, brought together by the sea, stay together for a while, and are again separated by the waves; So are people - brought together by fate, stay together for a while - and again the waves separate them." But, when I related this to Karthik, he said, "But you know, there's a great diff between us and the logs. While they can't swim, we can!" How true! We can swim, we can try and fight the tide. So, what if we are moving away from IITB, we are surely not moving apart. The bonds forged here are strong. Strong enough to withstand separations across time and space. And, I am sure of my friends and of myself - that we would never lose touch . The frequency of calls might decrease, the separation pangs would surely decrease with time, but the feelings never would. And, when we got back together, we could surely continue from where we left off - and, always, there would be laughter, joys and smiles....... forever!!

Life's beautiful with friends around you

Been writing profiles of friends for the valfi, reliving the past two beautiful years spent at IIT... Some one said "You cant choose your relatives, that's why God gave you friends" !! Seriously, msp nbd, tensions about the future, about studies.... all are forgotten in the dinner table conversations and masti with friends.. If not for my gang, I would have gone crazy by now!! :) Friends rock!! :)

musings of a muddled mind..

Ha ! Back to blogging after a long time... The abstinence was a tough one, but, well, the sacrifices one has to make for an msp !! :D

Lots happened since the last time I blogged - In the general front, we had India getting beaten royally at the world cup, and also, the ugliness behind the scenes making its presence felt in Woolmer's murder. On a more personal front, there was a riotous holi, then, a fun-filled Swar Sandhya, PAFs and lots of fun at the hostel [as usual :)]. Now, the countdown has begun. We have just a month left, with Apr 27th being our msp presentation day. With valfis round the corner, was feeling quite senti, and unable to work [which explains why I am blogging from lab, in spite of having a submission hanging like the famed Damocles sword on top of my head :D]

Cant seem to get a particular incident out of my head since yesterday. Thought 'penning' it down might help.

Yesterday, we Amchis [For the ignorant, Amchi is what we Konkani people call ourselves.. and, for the hopelessly ignorant , Konkani is a language spoken, not just by Goans but also by few communities in Karnataka and Maharashtra] went for Sid baab's treat (for having secured a PT at Cornell.. with a huge stipend, and a Looker as a guide ;) ]. We went to Chakras, the typical IITian adda for treats. On route to Chakras, we were caught in one of those -talked-about-on-the-radio traffic jams at a Saki naka signal. As Chakras was a just a stone's throw from that signal, we decided to get down from the rick and walk [prudent decision, as the auto would have taken at least 20 mins more, as compared to our 5 min walk :)]. As we crossed the road, I heard a sharp clang, the kind you hear when something metallic strikes the ground. I turned back and saw, a tiffin dabba lying on the ground. Its contents - few rotis, some rice, a sabzi .. a nice, nothing-fancy-but-filling home-made dinner - lying on the ground. The owner of the dabba - a youth of about 20 - had stopped his cycle a few feet away and was looking ruefully at his dinner, which had fallen off his cycle as he was taking a turn. Then, he slowly and dejectedly walked back to pick up the now-empty dabba. The look on his face somehow remained with me. Even at Chakras, while we were having a lavish treat, I couldn't help but wonder whether that guy ate something that night, whether he had money to buy himself some food, or if the spilt dinner translated into an empty stomach for that night.

Even at our PAF, they spoke of Vidarbh, where the farmer who grows food, is now not even being able to have two square meals a day. The PAF aimed to put across the plight of the farmer and we also had a farmer who came down all the way from Vidarbh, after a day long train journey, so that he could tell us first hand about their problems. But soon, after the PAF, half the junta walked away cursing the PAF for its low "entertainment" value, the performing team was busy rejoicing, the mood of pathos evoked by the PAF soon forgotten in the jubilance, and everyone forgot the farmer, as usual. We all have learnt to be insensitive. Learnt, practised, and now mastered the art of self-centeredness. As long as we have a food supply, and a salary sufficient to buy food - irrespective of the cost, we just are not concerned about people dying of hunger in the very same state that we live in. Why go to Vidarbh, we have homeless people in Mumbai itself, for whom the very next meal is a question mark.

Why such discrepancy?? why do have excess in some places and a pinching scarcity in another?? Why do we have people dying of hunger in some places and people throwing away food callously at parties in some other places?? And, why aren't we bothered the least about it??

Being a person who cant withstand hunger for long, the thought of someone starving seems most pathetic. And, it seems even more insensitive, that after looking at a man who might possibly go hungry that night, I went on to stuff myself, without even asking if I could help him in any way. I have joined the brigade of the callous. The God of Insensitivity reigns supreme and we, His faithful devotees, march triumphant.

Murphy rules...

Ever had one of those days where it seems as though everything is conspiring against you? Where Murphy rules, with every possible thing going just wrong? How would you feel? - Bad - Miserable? And, to top it all, if you discovered that it was your carelessness, your fault, which is causing you all the problem and you have no one to blame, not even circumstances, but yourself? Trust me, it is the lousiest feeling one can ever have.

Just discovered an idiotic error in two of my simulations. The starting conformation of proteins should have been [Phi, psi] = [-76, +149] . I set it to [-149, +76] . I still remember pausing at this step, then, hurtling along, after reassuring myself that it was in the right quadrant. If only i hadn't been so cocksure, I wouldn't have lost nearly three weeks of work. If only I had checked .. all it would have taken was a minute.....

I could kick myself, I could cry.. but it isnt going to help matters the least bit. Began my simluations all over again, rechecking every tiny thing this time. Yet to speak to my Prof. Dont know how he'll take it, but I guess, I ve been careless, and no point in shying away from it now.

A famous writer [I dont recall his name, nor am I in the mood to google for it now] once said "The saddest phrase ever said is 'It might have been...' " . How well I can relate to it today!!

Is Absence of Evidence, the Evidence of Absence ?

Sunita was relating to me an incident that happened in her native village. Few kids were scared to sleep alone at night, due to fear of ghosts. Sunita, being a woman of science, told them that ghosts were a figment of our imagination, an illusion created by a few, which is now deeply rooted in the minds of the rest. When the kids weren't convinced, she tried telling them, that since they have never seen a ghost, they should not believe that it exists. The kids immediately retorted "Have you ever seen God? Then why do you believe that He exists? Is He, too, not a figment of imagination? " She told me that she was rendered speechless, and asked me what I would answer.

I want to pass on this question to anyone who's reading this post. Do you believe in God? If you do, what is the support for your belief? Is evidence necessary? Can the lack of any evidence be taken to be the evidence for the absence of the phenomenon, as we try to do in case of Ghosts?

My own answers to these questions, I ll post in a couple of days. Till then, I ll await your responses :)

Exam "fever" :D

I have noticed that I get most of my creative outbusrts when my exams are just around the corner. One year , it was this amazing idea for a birthday card for my cousin, another year, it was a photo-collage [that I still have, stuck inside my bookshelf back home]. Now, it is this uncontrollable urge to blog. These "ideas" not only take root in my mind, they sort of overpower all other thought processes and become a kind of irrepressible urge, that doesn't let me think or rest till I have given in to it.

I guess, it is because I finally allow my brain to work during the exams? :P Or, maybe, I tend to relax during exams, which allows my brain to indulge in creative pursuits. Well, maybe relax is not the word, more like 'lax'. :D

I remember the good-old-school-days, where each class test was one of utmost importance, and a difference of a single mark would make an earth-shattering difference. During my high school days, I was an ultimately sincere kid. I would wake up at - hold-your-breath- at 05:45 AM and sit down for studies by 06:00 :D In the evening , upon return from school, I would allow myself a maximum of half-hour's rest, and I would be back to studies! And, mind you, to my parents' pleasure, this time-table was self set! But, then, I got out of school, into NCB for the glorious PU days, and, akal thikaane aagayi :D

Now, my routine consists of several interesting things to do during the regualr days :D Come exams, then, I take a break from the routine, and this is when I have these creative outbursts . Once i am finished with these activites, then, I get down to study [Finally!] . Then, the realisation dawns - that the syllabus is voluminous, time is miniscule- and some amount of this precious time goes into contemplating that my brain is aging and its grasping power has reduced and I should be reducing such incidences of last minute study! After jerking myself out of such reveries, I finally study - albeit, in an exam oriented manner - and dash off a prayer to the Almighty before dashing off to the Hall.

My prayers with the Almighty have also changed with time. During early instances of 'last minute study' , I use to apologise to the Almighty for failing in my duty, and used to request Him ki "Is baar naiyya paar lagado" . Nowadays, I guess even He would have memorised whatever I have to say! So, I tell Him " You very well know what my situation is and what I am going to ask, So, I am not going to repeat the same old stuff and bore both of us. Please understand and do the needful" ! So far He has been merciful enough and has obliged each time.

Yesterday, was truly an extreme case of such procastination. I had a day and a half for preparing for my statistics course, which was an audit. I, stubborn headedly, refused to prepare on tuesday, 'cause I felt that an audit course did not deserve so much of my 'precious' time! And, when I finally sat down to study, I could have kicked myself for the previous day's stupidity!! Thankfully, the paper went well, much better than I had expected.

After each such instance, I resolve not to repeat it again, but, once the exam is over, the daily routine begins. Classes, lab, French, cult activities and ofcourse- masti, keep me so busy, that I do not study regularly. Then, comes exam time, with such "creative urges" to complicate matters, and the vicious cycle continues.

Hoped to kick the habit this time, but the very fact I am writing this post indicates that I have given in to an urge. Got an exam tomorrow. Will go study now!! :D